“Even With Exes, Friends and Family Telling Me How Beautiful I Was… I Just Couldn’t See It. Sound Familiar?” - This Is How A Divas Experience Changed Everything

Hi, my name is Jess and I am 22.

The other day I had the pleasure of chatting to Jo once again as I am looking to book myself in for a second session - and I’m sure it won’t be my last! I was asked if I’d share my story with everyone, so here we go…

Who was I before my Boudoir Experience?

I’ve never loved myself. I’ve always been that person who sits quietly in the corner, makes themselves as small as possible so as not to inconvenience others and I’ve done some very silly things in my past to cope or try to change myself. I was diagnosed with social anxiety and have always apologised for everything I’ve done, even when it’s been something completely unbelievable in the best of ways! For example I took a dangerous pony and made her the prefect first pony for any child... and I still apologised.

I always thought there was something wrong with me - even with my mam’s full support behind me, and even with exes and friends telling me how beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, pretty and perfect I was… I just couldn’t see it. I would brush away comments when people complimented my talents too. Sound familiar?

I now love my body, chins and all! Yes, he probably thinks I’m crazy for making him stand next to a balloon monster 🎈

So how did that lead me to having my Divine Divas Experience?

In 2020, I was gifted a Gift Certificate for a session with the Divine Divas team by my Mum. She knows my relationship with mental health and my body and she said she wanted me to know that my body was precious, that I deserved to understand my beauty and to feel beauty; to know that I was more than just my body… so she got in touch with Divine Divas.

How did I feel when I was gifted the experience? Well…

The nerves built as the day got closer, I had no idea what to expect and I had no idea what I wanted from the experience. But the point of the Gift Certificate was for me to finally see what everyone else has seen for the past two decades! But, to be honest, if you had asked me what I saw when I looked in the mirror this time last year, I would’ve told you that I see a spotty, worthless, sack of ugly lard. I was struggling with body dysmorphia too. I have acne due to hormonal issues and of course I have cellulite, stretch marks and scars. Even a belly!

So, what happened on the day of my Divas Experience?

Before coming through the doors I was so nervous but the instant I walked in and started talking to the team, I felt at ease. My photographer, Jesse, was great. He helped to push me out of my comfort zone whilst ensuring I felt comfortable the whole time. And my hair and make up was fantastic too! Honestly, I just felt in control the whole time and so fully supported.

But, the biggest moment? This is what I felt when I saw my photos

Well… after my session and reviewing the photos, I almost cried. For the first time, I wasn’t crying because I hated how I looked. Jo and the team almost had me in tears because I finally saw what everyone else has seen for so long. I saw this beautiful, elegant, sexy, classy young woman. I went from sporting a dress to a riding outfit, and even to a lacy body suit! Something I never thought I’d do - especially in front of a camera and especially with a male photographer! I genuinely just couldn’t believe it was me.

What happened after that? Was it just a fleeting feeling? Short answer - no.

I have my artworks proudly on display. They serve as a reminder. I’ve done a lot of work. I rediscovered who I am, what I want, what I deserve.

Now, when I look in the mirror? I see a beautiful young woman whose wonky smile and crooked teeth make her smile even prettier. Her scars tell a story and her body is perfect just the way it is. Her belly protects all her organs and her thighs of cellulite and long legs make good saddle grippers! She looks good in baggy sweats and a jumper but she also looks good in dresses, crop tops, skirts and shorts (things I haven’t worn since I was a skinny child!).

Acne, chins and wonky teeth? Beautiful!

First time wearing a dress with a slit and heels!

My whole life changed with this new found confidence - I mean everything

With my new found confidence I successfully managed to land my first office based job (yes, I went into the office). I’ve since had interviews for places I wouldn’t have even bothered applying to last year out of fear that I’m not enough. I’ve been offered a handful of jobs back in an industry I left due to not feeling confident enough in my own abilities. Heck I found the guts to try riding side saddle (yes, it was a lot more difficult than it looks!). I went on my first solo flight for a holiday abroad by myself. I’ve bought myself a beautiful little colt after being made to believe that I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m no longer completely uncomfortable around a camera (I even smiled for mam the other day). Christ, my hair is half pink and half purple! I’ve gotten tattoos and a new piercing because that’s just who I am. And I like who I am.

I’m done apologising for being myself because I’m not afraid to be who I am anymore. My name is Jess and I am worthy of unconditional love as I am. People can either like me or dislike me - it doesn’t bother me anymore. And the Divine Divas team played a part in helping me finally reach this point after two decades of life. So a huge thank you to the team.

What would I say to other women considering it?

If you’re hesitant, don’t be! The team make you feel at ease the moment you walk through the door, even with a heart rate over 200bpm! Who knew photos could help you feel happier and more confident in your skin?!

Each and everyone of you are beautiful - don’t doubt yourself.

….On a side note, who has recommendations for where to shop for my next experience?!

Even had the confidence to wear this out for a dinner!